We have moved!

fed up of my ongoing problems with blogger, cant put titles in etc!

So we can now be found at http://billysdiary.com/ name not very creative i know!

Still learning how to use it so bear with me!

Thanks Em x

Very comfortable with his sexuality in the pink car!

Photos taken with my phone hence them been crap!

I was in the shower this morning when i heard Tosh shouting me to get out, not like him so i got out. Billy had s**t and it was everywhere, it had escaped his nappy, on the floor in four different place, on his feet, down his legs, on a psp box and on Daddy! Never have we had s**t in that many place before!

We'd worked like idiots last night to clear the bedroom for the fitters today, at 930am i got a call to say they'd damaged the wardrobes putting them on the lorry to bring and that they'd be here at 1pm, I'd planned a afternoon out with Billy's buddies, so told them in no uncertain terms to be here by 1pm, at 1130am i got to call to say it'd be tomorrow when they got here and started! Poor poor poor! We are sleeping in out spare room on our guest beds that i thought were of reasonable quality but after a night on them, nope they aren't!

New dishwasher arrived today so that softens the annoyance of the bedroom!

We've been to Big Tops today and Billy loved it, i know its something I'm gonna have to get used to and one day it might be Billy but why are children so horrid sometimes??!! This is now the third time we've been to a soft play zone and some child has hit him, nipped him, pulled him or just shouted in his face! I am getting quite skilled at please be careful he's only a baby! What i have noticed more than anything is its the children who's Mum's sit drinking coffee gossiping, that are the one that are normally been horrid! I actually told the little boy who wouldn't leave him alone and kept nipping him and taking toys off him, to go away today and he went back to his Mum crying and she had no idea why, if she'd have been looking at her child rather than a magazine she'd have known! I know i sound really nasty, the child had been winding me up for about half a hour.

Finally you remember that post Mummy is such a plank! well I've found the parking ticket today, under the passenger seat of my car! Funny thing is I've cleaned it two weeks ago, does that not tell you something about my cleaning skills??!!

fork I'm good!

This week.....

Its been a busy one!

Finally the tight ba***ds at Vodafone have decided my shop needs shutting a re-fitting, should have done that in the first place after the floods! The walls are safe but the walls that divided us from other stores (fire walls) are that wet they could be spooned out! So Monday morning a decision will be made when we shut - YAY!! All my team members will have to go to other stores to work and they have no chance with me and other managers, i can def find stuff to do (be Joly paid holiday)


We are out this evening, Billy is stopping with Grandma H, he'll no doubt get her up at 5am and she'll let him. I think she sleeps terrible when he stays as she listens for every noise. I am going to get plastered on vodka! Mmmmm


My friend N has had new baby yesterday (what made me think about birth) called Archie, i love little babies, i have popped in on my way home from work. Its strange, he was so tiny and helpless, i feel sometimes i cant remember Billy like that. Dont they grow quick! No more babies from my friends due for a while now, who will be next???


Tosh cousins wedding next week and i have a new dress, the bonus of that is its a UK size 10!!! Not far off been normal again! Dreading the wedding as Billy not coming and my Dad and his wife having him, they have never looked after him before. They are great with kids but i am scared, i know he'll be OK but still gives me butterfly's in my tummy!

My birth plan and what actually happened! Beware its a long one and it could put you off giving birth!

Birth Plan for Emma

Hospital birth

Don’t want to go to Hospital until I have to!

Normal as possible – natural birth

Tosh husband only person to attend, if Tosh is not available my Mum. (Students are welcome)

I will be as mobile as possible so to be encouraged to move around – should have a birthing ball

I want to keep a open mind about drugs so I’m not saying wont have any if recommended but I’d rather have as little as possible, so please don’t offer me them unless completely necessary – I will have a tens machine that I’ve hired. I don’t want to be sick at any point therefore no drugs that are likely to make me throw up. (Anti sickness drugs are welcome if I’m likely to be sick)

No camcorder!

A c-section only if necessary – Obviously an epidural will be needed with that, I don’t like the thought of anything been put in my back it is the biggest fear I have about the entire birth. IF I HAVE TO HAVE AN EPIDURAL I WANT MY BIRTH PARTNER PRESENT – I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON MY OWN!! Tosh is to be present the whole way through c-section. Also no one is to see the baby before my husband and I. (This means any family or friends)

I only want an episiotomy if absolutely necessary – I would rather not be cut and would welcome any help to avoid it.

Providing the baby is fine I’d like to be given it straight away and have skin to skin contact and we’d like to discover the baby’s sex our self’s

Tosh to cut the cord

I want to breast feed the baby ASAP don’t give the baby a bottle unless necessary

I want to be in hospital as little time as possible

And now what actually happen.......

Contractions started at bed time on the Tuesday, the were quite bad to start with, anyway we went to bed. I wasn't in bed long before i was up and in the bath, the baby was back to back so that was possibly the cause of the pain early on. At about midnight we went to hospital to be told that i was only about 2cm and the position of the baby i could be at it for days and to go home, so i sat and cried i didn't want to go home but they sent me anyway! I remember the big fat horrid midwife, looking at me like i was a big woose, and telling me to turn my tens machine up! So we went home and i got back in the bath and then went to bed. I laid there having contractions until my plug went, then i decided i wanted DRUGS and any at this point any would do! So off we went back to the hospital, i remember Tosh driving down our road and me whining at every speed bump, possibly the worst journey of my life! We arrived at the hospital and we had to use the main doors, so it was a long walk again to the labour ward, when we arrived there the big fat midwife was at the nurses station and passed me to another midwife and the snarl on her face said Oh god you again! Anyway they put me in the bottom corner suit the was mile away and I'm sure she said to other midwife she'll be ages!

So in this room, i was given a birthing ball and i begged for pain relief, i had pethidine and anti-sickness drugs, although I'd already been sick loads. And was only 4cm! We were left in this room and checked on about every hour, i was a space cadet, to the point i fell off the birthing ball! I laid on the bed and think i actually went to sleep, then pop something had happened, my waters had gone! I pressed the buzzer, the midwife came and then the panic began! There was macomium in my waters (Billy had done a poo) I didn't realise how important this was, they made me walk from my room into another more equipped room, all the time walking across the corridor dripping shity water on the floor, yes the was a trail where I'd been! In this new room i was demanding i went to the toilet, to the point i had to be dragged on the the bed by Tosh and the midwife. The put the monitor on the check Billy heartbeat and its was bad, only 40bpm and should be about 120-150bpm! Everything from this point was blur, so I'll prob miss bits. The midwife pressed the big red button behind me and within about 10seconds there were about 10 people in the room, i remember Tosh been sat at the side of me tell me it'd be OK. They were putting a drip in my hand and moving my bed at the same time, then i was been pushed down the corridor a rapid speed, there was a bin or something in the way that the bed banged into and i kicked out of the way.

I was on my own at this point, with loads of staff with masks on, someone was wiping iodine on my tummy and the anesthetist was talking to me. I kept asking when they were going to knock me out?? they were prepping me and i was conscious! The bloody anesthetist kept calling me Gemma, well i put him right, been polite i shouted MY NAME IS EMMA!!! They did say the baby's heart rate was rising but he was still in distress. Still asking when i was going to be knocked out they put a mask over my face! I was gone! I am sure i asked if we were going to die! I also was telling the to ring my Mum and spouting the number at them.

I woke up and demanded my Mum be there, to the extent that Tosh had to go out and ring her. Tosh said Emma we've got a boy and i told him that i was having a girl though! The the midwife asked his name and i told her his first name but gave him a middle name we'd never planned! He's still got it now tho! I laid there filthy and in pain, i kept telling the mid wife i was in pain and she took no notice, kept saying they've given you morphine! After complaining for about a hour, she had a look at my dip and its wasn't in right! NO WONDER I WAS IN PAIN!

They layed Billy next to me and i kept saying isn't he great, to everyone, I was amazed!

The events that happened with Tosh while i was in theatre, he was moved to a room to wait for me. Where he was left sat on his own for quite a while, and then they told he you've got a boy and brought him in wrapped in a towel. The person who brought him in told Tosh that they'd only seen him open one eye and weren't sure that there was a eye ball in the other! So Tosh had to sit there holding a new baby on his own in room waiting for his eye to open! Anyway thankfully his eye opened and you there was a eye ball! Tactless bastards (i know swearing is bad) Oh and Billy covered me in poo at the birth and then poo'ed in the towel when Tosh was holding him.

I was eventually cleaned up and moved on to a ward, I had asked for a private room. I complained that much they found me a private room and moved me, they never charged me either which was a bonus! if you lived in the town i do you'd have not wanted to be on a ward full of teenage mothers who have no fixed abode, or just scrubbers and yes i do know i am a snob and picky!

Billy was born on Wednesday morning about 7ish weighting 8lb 8oz, which is pretty massive for me! We had to stay in hospital until the Saturday.

One of the doctors who delivered Billy came to see me a day later, after reading my birth plan, as she was concerned that I'd planned it so much and it had been so different, she did also mention Billy covered everyone on poo in theatre!

Everything turned out fine thankfully and believe it or not that whole performance hasn't put me off having another!

Tooth number 2, Mummy cooking and eating yogurt!

He still refuses anything from a spoon the majority of the time, he used to once love yogurt but from one of his many sickness episodes he went off them. I thought I'd give him a try with yogurt again, well i got one spoon in and he promptly gagged and heaved. So i gave him the pot and spoon which i don't think he ate any of but he def enjoyed making the mess! (bruise on head is from tiled bathroom floor) And yes he is scowling again, its now his normal facial expression!

He has his second tooth just coming through, felt it this morning and might explain the hunger strike he put him self on, i decided i am crap at the moment with giving hims vegetables etc so i have made him some cheese and broccoli muffins and they are yummy (if he doesn't eat them i will)

And one final note I have lost a 8lbs so far since joining WW but not been for last 2 week, not sure I'm going back now i am getting in the habit of eating better.

All set up for his holidays! (Be warned Mummy is whining too)

Some of his birthday presents, sun suits (factor 40 protection)

Look at the scowl, its a new face and unfortunately he has inherited that expression from his Mummy!

To him the most interesting part was the hanger! Pictures are crap not sure whats going on with camera.

ONE BAD TEMPERED MUMMY!

It been one of those days, the ones where everyone and everything annoys you! Think I've had too much time at home this week and not been able to do much, due to the weather. Today I've been in such a mood that when i was doing the ironing i lost my temper with it, yes i lost my temper with the ironing, you know because that's completely normal to loose your temper with the ironing! Anyway i decided that some of the clothes that were too difficult to iron, either didn't fit or i didn't like, so i binned them! Tosh actually stopped me half way through the ironing and arranged for it to go around to his Mum tomorrow to be done, before i threw away our entire wardrobe! I know where the mood came from, it was all because the house was untidy, i can be such a freak sometimes! Our new bedroom is been fitted a week on Monday and that is also winding me up, i need to clear out our bedroom and make space for us to sleep in the spare room. The new bed we have ordered wont be here for 4-6weeks so that's gonna be fun too....... I know i whine a lot! I am actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, that of course if we are able to open, the shop has been cleaned and sanitised but some of the fittings need replacing and Meadowhall's health and safety officers will decide in the morning if we have done enough for now!

On a happy note we've been to see baby Josh today, one of my friends new baby and he is beautiful! Makes me very brewdy, i want my holiday soon, then we can try and counger up a new addition to our house hold!

Splash and in they went!

We still have glorious sunshine, tomorrow forecast is for rain and it better bloody rain, since i cancelled the party!

At the supermarket i decided to buy us lunch in the cafe, well what a crap, useless Mummy i am! I'd not got a bib, wipes or beaker, I'd left his bag at home! People around me must of thought i was barmy or he wasn't really mine! I ordered a toasted sandwich for me and a toasted teacake for him, they took that long to arrive, that he was making so much noise i decided that we'd have our apple and jaffacakes first, got some dirty looks for that from people around! He drunk my water from the bottle and basically tipped it down him, i used a napkin for a bib and he just shredded then threw it on the floor! And finally serving me right he ate non of the food we'd waited for!

The final part of the day was when he was wandering around upstairs while i ran his bath, he wandered in the bathroom and I'd not noticed he'd got his shoes in his hands until the were both in the bath!

Happy Birthday Billy Boy!

A lawnmower, wheel barrow and spades etc, so he can help Daddy in the garden from Grandma H but he'll need to master pushing it and clothes for his hols. (dummy in mouth as he's been so grumpy, its his birthday after all and he can cry if he wants too....)

A Trampoline from Uncle R, he's unsure just yet and I'm doubting they'll not last long!

The biggest cake in the world for a little boy and even worse he refused to even try it! Thought is was funny that we all sung to him.

A family snap, i hate the photo of me! Not very often we get one of all of us so thought I'd better post it!

I made him also some buns, which he also refused! his friend Luke thoroughly enjoyed and getting blue icing on my cream rug, thought Luke's Mum was going to cry, in fact thought Tosh might! It all cleaned up OK! I'd post you a photo but need Luke's Mummy's permission first, he had a blue mustache!

His first passport photo!

He had a good day, loads of cards not many presents, i did request he didn't get loads of presents and that he needed holiday stuff, which he got plenty of - roll on September and were off to Portugal!

Little base jumper

Toddler day rucksack with rein, just looked so cute had to post the pictures!

The little chaps birthday tomorrow!

Just think this time last year contractions were starting! I'm not going to post about his birth but i will one day soon, it was horrific and we are lucky he is here!




I have no access to the shops at the mo, cant leave my village to get near supermarket that sells birthday cakes, so he's got a chocolate fudge cake. The shops i can get to everyone has panic bought everything on the shelves! I always planned to make the choc cake but not a his birthday cake just as a desert for his party, the party i have had to cancel!

I know i'm going on and on and on about flooding!

My life is turning in to flood hell! Before i start, no my house hasn't been flooded and everyone is safe!

The sun is out like it never rained, most roads look dry, there is dust and mud everywhere. Both our work places are a disaster, mud, water, sewage and god knows what else! I am on holiday from work this week but needed to see what the damage was. So here goes pictures again - SORRY! Only glad we work for massive company's who the cost of repairs and closure of the business is not really a impact to. (yes most have insurance but not a quick process)

Our repair centre where the floor is normally white!

Our shop floor! (normally wood effect, not mud effect)

Me and the other managers in the get up we had to wear before entering the building, yes we went over the top pulling the huds up!

The rain is due back on Saturday, not good! The dam at Ulley is safe for now thankfully and lets hope its not a down poor like Monday and Tuesday this week, or the clean up wont have been worth doing!

Its now officailly the wettest month ever for us!

No month on record has ever this much rain fallen.

What happening -

• Daddy's work is that flooded its now shut and you cant access it, the water is up to the middle of the door and two people had to be rescued last night (only bonus is that he's now off work - hope hes gonna get paid!)
• Grandpa S owns a travel company and his Garage with all his buses in is like a Island, he has hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of buses/coaches, a business that he's built up from been a young man. He's been down there all night trying to save them, they have air suspensions and he's had them all risen off the ground as high a possible. He has a pit that is full like a swimming pool.
• Mummy's work is shut, the centre is flooded, the car parks there are reports of cars floating off, the electricity has gone so the shutter couldn't be brought down. (lucky I'm only hols)
• Lots of my family and friends have lost their power for periods during the night and Auntie L has had no power since 9pm last night. She decided to go to her Mums a few miles away, thankfully she has a big 4wheel drive so got there, she gave me stories of cars stuck in water and people climbing out of sun roofs.
• Ulley Reservoir (The Rude Ungrateful Ducks Story) has burst its banks, fire & rescue are trying to stop it, if it actually goes all surrounding areas will be under water, the power station at the side of the M1 will go and we will prob loose power, Whiston, Treeton, Canlkow & CATCLIFFE!
• We have never been flooded but i have just seen a council lorry come down our road as i type this post, with sandbags! The rain has stopped for now but they water is still rising!

I am watching the news continuously and its scary shit!!!!

The weather part 3! This is the centre i work in, the tree popping out of the water are in the car parks!

Where is our summer??? Its rained and its rained and its rained!!! VERSION 2!!

This time last year it was 27degrees, today its still raining and its 11degrees. If the rain continues I'm going to have to cancel Billy first birthday party, i couldn't possibly fit everyone invited into my house. Previous post we haven't had this much rain in 50years! Luckily we there isn't much flooding around us but less than 10miles away people are evacuated from their houses and have been for the last couple of weeks. Water would have a long way to go to reach my house, in 2001 our village was flooded really badly.

The picture is a couple of streets away from Daddy's work, taken today at 14:30 on Brightside Lane in Sheffield, I had to go fetch Daddy mid afternoon when his work closed to ensure everyone got home. Quite scary the second car in to the picture, the silver Focus is exactly the same as mine!!!!

Just heard on radio that Rotherham Council have run out of road closed signs, they have closed so many areas! Rotherfm

The word car

His Professional Photos

What a difference 6months makes!

I was just thinking of the nightmare i had getting him to eat and now look at him. Granted he's holding a spoon which serves the only purpose of making him gag when he pushes it too far! (cant see spoon) Cant believe he'll be a year old on Wednesday!

The boy!

I was ready to come home by Thursday morning, I have rung at every opportunity and had pictures sent to me by his Daddy to my phone. Cant believe how much i have missed him, he seemed so big when i got home.

He's learnt how to open the shower cubical door while his Daddy was in the shower, learnt how empty a toilet roll, can now say the words cat and car, and can get up to standing position from been sat down without a settee, door frame or anything else to help him up.

Some of the pictures his Daddy sent me are the ones attached

I felt quite allien to the environment of ambitious people who loved the sound of their own voices and people who enjoyed enlarging their egos. And all i want to do is talk about my little boy and been a Mum, god how my life has changed. I am so glad it has though and that work is not the only thing in my life, like the people i have spent the 5days with!

Daddy is in Edinburgh now until Sunday evening so by the time he arrives home I'll have not seen him for nearly a week!!! Roll on Sunday, the only plus point is that its just me and my baby boy for two days!

Oh and its still raining in most of the country and there are floods everywhere, thankfully not around us anymore!

I'm back! YAY!!!

My course was great, yes i said great. I cant believe it! It was run by a guy called Matthew Scaith from A company called Results International, i have never in my life met anyone like him and never been on a course so interesting. Matthew is a trained Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and a hypnotist (trained by the same guy as Paul Mckenna and Darren Brown )I cant even put in to words what I've learnt, there are so many different skills i think i have gained. Anyway boring, I'll update you more when I'm not so knacked and can be bothered.

I stayed in the Manchester Hilton and i have eaten like a pig, i can hardly fasten my jeans! WW here i come!