My birth plan and what actually happened! Beware its a long one and it could put you off giving birth!

Birth Plan for Emma

Hospital birth

Don’t want to go to Hospital until I have to!

Normal as possible – natural birth

Tosh husband only person to attend, if Tosh is not available my Mum. (Students are welcome)

I will be as mobile as possible so to be encouraged to move around – should have a birthing ball

I want to keep a open mind about drugs so I’m not saying wont have any if recommended but I’d rather have as little as possible, so please don’t offer me them unless completely necessary – I will have a tens machine that I’ve hired. I don’t want to be sick at any point therefore no drugs that are likely to make me throw up. (Anti sickness drugs are welcome if I’m likely to be sick)

No camcorder!

A c-section only if necessary – Obviously an epidural will be needed with that, I don’t like the thought of anything been put in my back it is the biggest fear I have about the entire birth. IF I HAVE TO HAVE AN EPIDURAL I WANT MY BIRTH PARTNER PRESENT – I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON MY OWN!! Tosh is to be present the whole way through c-section. Also no one is to see the baby before my husband and I. (This means any family or friends)

I only want an episiotomy if absolutely necessary – I would rather not be cut and would welcome any help to avoid it.

Providing the baby is fine I’d like to be given it straight away and have skin to skin contact and we’d like to discover the baby’s sex our self’s

Tosh to cut the cord

I want to breast feed the baby ASAP don’t give the baby a bottle unless necessary

I want to be in hospital as little time as possible

And now what actually happen.......

Contractions started at bed time on the Tuesday, the were quite bad to start with, anyway we went to bed. I wasn't in bed long before i was up and in the bath, the baby was back to back so that was possibly the cause of the pain early on. At about midnight we went to hospital to be told that i was only about 2cm and the position of the baby i could be at it for days and to go home, so i sat and cried i didn't want to go home but they sent me anyway! I remember the big fat horrid midwife, looking at me like i was a big woose, and telling me to turn my tens machine up! So we went home and i got back in the bath and then went to bed. I laid there having contractions until my plug went, then i decided i wanted DRUGS and any at this point any would do! So off we went back to the hospital, i remember Tosh driving down our road and me whining at every speed bump, possibly the worst journey of my life! We arrived at the hospital and we had to use the main doors, so it was a long walk again to the labour ward, when we arrived there the big fat midwife was at the nurses station and passed me to another midwife and the snarl on her face said Oh god you again! Anyway they put me in the bottom corner suit the was mile away and I'm sure she said to other midwife she'll be ages!

So in this room, i was given a birthing ball and i begged for pain relief, i had pethidine and anti-sickness drugs, although I'd already been sick loads. And was only 4cm! We were left in this room and checked on about every hour, i was a space cadet, to the point i fell off the birthing ball! I laid on the bed and think i actually went to sleep, then pop something had happened, my waters had gone! I pressed the buzzer, the midwife came and then the panic began! There was macomium in my waters (Billy had done a poo) I didn't realise how important this was, they made me walk from my room into another more equipped room, all the time walking across the corridor dripping shity water on the floor, yes the was a trail where I'd been! In this new room i was demanding i went to the toilet, to the point i had to be dragged on the the bed by Tosh and the midwife. The put the monitor on the check Billy heartbeat and its was bad, only 40bpm and should be about 120-150bpm! Everything from this point was blur, so I'll prob miss bits. The midwife pressed the big red button behind me and within about 10seconds there were about 10 people in the room, i remember Tosh been sat at the side of me tell me it'd be OK. They were putting a drip in my hand and moving my bed at the same time, then i was been pushed down the corridor a rapid speed, there was a bin or something in the way that the bed banged into and i kicked out of the way.

I was on my own at this point, with loads of staff with masks on, someone was wiping iodine on my tummy and the anesthetist was talking to me. I kept asking when they were going to knock me out?? they were prepping me and i was conscious! The bloody anesthetist kept calling me Gemma, well i put him right, been polite i shouted MY NAME IS EMMA!!! They did say the baby's heart rate was rising but he was still in distress. Still asking when i was going to be knocked out they put a mask over my face! I was gone! I am sure i asked if we were going to die! I also was telling the to ring my Mum and spouting the number at them.

I woke up and demanded my Mum be there, to the extent that Tosh had to go out and ring her. Tosh said Emma we've got a boy and i told him that i was having a girl though! The the midwife asked his name and i told her his first name but gave him a middle name we'd never planned! He's still got it now tho! I laid there filthy and in pain, i kept telling the mid wife i was in pain and she took no notice, kept saying they've given you morphine! After complaining for about a hour, she had a look at my dip and its wasn't in right! NO WONDER I WAS IN PAIN!

They layed Billy next to me and i kept saying isn't he great, to everyone, I was amazed!

The events that happened with Tosh while i was in theatre, he was moved to a room to wait for me. Where he was left sat on his own for quite a while, and then they told he you've got a boy and brought him in wrapped in a towel. The person who brought him in told Tosh that they'd only seen him open one eye and weren't sure that there was a eye ball in the other! So Tosh had to sit there holding a new baby on his own in room waiting for his eye to open! Anyway thankfully his eye opened and you there was a eye ball! Tactless bastards (i know swearing is bad) Oh and Billy covered me in poo at the birth and then poo'ed in the towel when Tosh was holding him.

I was eventually cleaned up and moved on to a ward, I had asked for a private room. I complained that much they found me a private room and moved me, they never charged me either which was a bonus! if you lived in the town i do you'd have not wanted to be on a ward full of teenage mothers who have no fixed abode, or just scrubbers and yes i do know i am a snob and picky!

Billy was born on Wednesday morning about 7ish weighting 8lb 8oz, which is pretty massive for me! We had to stay in hospital until the Saturday.

One of the doctors who delivered Billy came to see me a day later, after reading my birth plan, as she was concerned that I'd planned it so much and it had been so different, she did also mention Billy covered everyone on poo in theatre!

Everything turned out fine thankfully and believe it or not that whole performance hasn't put me off having another!

All set up for his holidays! (Be warned Mummy is whining too)

Some of his birthday presents, sun suits (factor 40 protection)

Look at the scowl, its a new face and unfortunately he has inherited that expression from his Mummy!

To him the most interesting part was the hanger! Pictures are crap not sure whats going on with camera.

ONE BAD TEMPERED MUMMY!

It been one of those days, the ones where everyone and everything annoys you! Think I've had too much time at home this week and not been able to do much, due to the weather. Today I've been in such a mood that when i was doing the ironing i lost my temper with it, yes i lost my temper with the ironing, you know because that's completely normal to loose your temper with the ironing! Anyway i decided that some of the clothes that were too difficult to iron, either didn't fit or i didn't like, so i binned them! Tosh actually stopped me half way through the ironing and arranged for it to go around to his Mum tomorrow to be done, before i threw away our entire wardrobe! I know where the mood came from, it was all because the house was untidy, i can be such a freak sometimes! Our new bedroom is been fitted a week on Monday and that is also winding me up, i need to clear out our bedroom and make space for us to sleep in the spare room. The new bed we have ordered wont be here for 4-6weeks so that's gonna be fun too....... I know i whine a lot! I am actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, that of course if we are able to open, the shop has been cleaned and sanitised but some of the fittings need replacing and Meadowhall's health and safety officers will decide in the morning if we have done enough for now!

On a happy note we've been to see baby Josh today, one of my friends new baby and he is beautiful! Makes me very brewdy, i want my holiday soon, then we can try and counger up a new addition to our house hold!

How stupid can one Mummy be???

Monday at 9am i need to be in Manchester ready to start my course, when going on courses the company supply hire cars. So i went online to order my car to be delivered to me at home Sunday, knowing that National Car Hire aren't open Sunday expected it to arrive on Saturday. Saturday afternoon came and went no car arrived, then thought I'd check i booked it OK, so looked on the email turns out I've stupidly booked it for the 18th, yes the 18th is Monday, you know the day i am meant to be there! So come tomorrow morning i have no hire car here to get to Manchester and my car will be delivered long after i have gone! lucky i can actually use my own car as its fixed! DOH!

Why Mummy is not happy!

Really fed up, my car broke down on Friday last week (running on 3cylinders, what ever that means??) It drives but not safe, earliest they could fix it was today. So Tosh drove my car sounding like a tractor to the garage this morning, they asked about servicing, my car was brand new last year and has to be serviced to maintain its warranty. I have had it serviced but not by them, so i now have to make my way up to the garage to provide proof of servicing and it gets worse they now aren't sure if it'll be fixed today!!! GRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!

I am also getting very worked up that i have to go on a course from work for a whole week and its next week! This is not option, i don't have all current training for my job and its very obvious. The course is in Manchester which isn't that far but its a slow journey, it would be pointless coming home, I'd have to leave at 5am to get there for 9am and coming home I'd leave at 5pm but not be home until 730-8pm so I'd not get any equality time at home and Billy would probably be asleep when i left and went! Oh and I'd be completely knacked! I am getting the time back in lieu, so when i get home i am off work for 10days (put some hols in too). He will get some quality time with his Daddy as he's taking some time off work and the rest of the time he'll be with either Grandma's. I know its sound stupid but I keep thinking he's gonna forget me!!! Gonna be a tough week.

AGAIN GRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH, GRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH, GRHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Our Second Wedding Anniversary

Yep two years married, what crime could i have committed to have that sentence term! (JOKING) And 7years together in July.

I never really held much value in marriage and could never really see my self getting married, I'd seen my parents divorce and loads of people around me. I was always happy with living together until the day i said I wanted a child! I was told by Tosh (my husband) that he wasn't starting a family until we were married! So i had some planning to do! We had our holiday booked for the following year to Bali via Singapore, so that's were my planning began. I changed our holiday to a honeymoon and booked a our wedding, all planned in less than 9months.

My wedding day was wonderful and the 2nd best day of my life! 1st my beautiful boy been born!

I love been Mrs B!

The following year on our first wedding I was nearly due to pop, 3weeks off giving birth!

Just a meal out for us this year, I've ended up working all weekend due to people been ill at work so not done much else.

Our plans.....

We go on holiday to Portugal in September and we'd discussed that when we got home we might start to try for another baby (scary) anyway i had set a proviso, been that we have a extension to our house. The reasons for the extension was that we currently have a spare room and the spare room is MINE! Mine meaning i use it for a dressing room. (Not that our house is small, think i am just greedy) Well after looking in to the cost of a extension, we cant afford another baby and a extension! The dilemma, youch!

So my next plan, we have had a design company out to redesign our master bedroom, granted we've kinda stolen this idea from one of our friends (but their new bedroom looks so good!) So i want loads of storage space and a dressing table in our room. This is a big ask, our house is only about 8years old and the thing about new houses in the UK is that none of the rooms are massive!

The photos are of the plan and the design we are going to possibly adapt. I have this knack of choosing the most expensive and i don't mean, once I've seen the price. And guess what?? its bl**dy expensive!

I also have this problem of once I've decided i want something i have to have it, poor Tosh hey! Bless him he knew what i was like before he married me and he still went ahead!

The danger is that we could end up looking like a Park Lane hotel room!

The baby stuff, think we might hold off until January to practice for a new one, then their will be just over 2yrs between our children BUT hey watch this space! Who knows????

The Weight Watchers news!

I am only posting because i am so incredibly happy! God know how but i have actually lost 3.5lb in last 2weeks! Didn't go last week, could be bothered and nearly didn't go today as i thought I'd have gained weight! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mummy is such a plank!

No Billy this morning, he's with Grandma H for the day. I'd got planned a hair cut this morning and work 1-930pm.

Off i went for my hair cut in Sheffield City Centre, parked in the NCP, possibly the most expensive car park in the world. Got my ticket on the way in and went for hair cut, came back with my mop cut, validated my ticket and off i went to the barrier. Upon arriving at the barrier to leave i realised i didn't have my ticket, turned my car up side down and went through pockets. Then decided i must have dropped it as i got in car, so made 2cars behind me reverse up so i could turn round and got back to my space. NO TICKET! So i had to go back down to the barrier and tell the man at customer services what a prat i was loosing my ticket! The BA**ARD charged me again!!!! F*** get! So i am nearly fifty quid lighter for one hair cut!!
My day can only get better, off to work now!

This week....

Not much happened really in fact very dull

• Daddy's football Sheffield United have been religated today and he'd not yet home suspect it will be like the world had ended today when he finally arrives home!
• Billy has been incredibly grumpy all week, with no let up. His cold is still here and showing no signs of going, so snotty noses it is!
• The doc did naff all about his ingrowing toe nails, given me antibiotic cream and said when they get inflamed again to bring he straight back. Apparently they still haven't formed properly and no doctor will touch them at the mo, one reason is they still could correct them self's and the second is that he'd have to have general anesthetic.
• Lost 2lb's at WW this week

Too many toys!

I remember it well, about a month after Billy was born i bought him a toy box and vowed that once it was full he had enough toys downstairs! What went wrong??? He's taken over my house! I'd not really have it any other way but it turning in to constant battle to keep tidy! The toy box is actually under all that! The toy box.

Some catching up to do.....

Don't feel like I've had a minute all week.

What been happening some important some not so....

• Tosh's boss's funeral on Thursday (died at age 60 of cancer, very quickly only found out in January he was ill)
• My new boss has been announced and as i was slightly worried i had good reason to be as its Sarah!
• We've had ants in our house - i was very upset! I hope no one thinks this is because my house is filthy because its far from that. Turns out when mentioned lots of people have them at the mo, even been on the news. Apparently its because we've had a mild winter??!! But i have gutted the house from top to bottom and now have traps everywhere! (no sign of them anymore)
• I've joined weight watchers finally

One grumpy Mummy!

I am grumpy, think I'm run down and tired! I have a sore throat that I've had for 5days not any signs of developing into anything nasty but no signs of going either and i have ulcers in my mouth! All i seem to do is work and deal with w**kers, i had a customer put her hand up to my face the other day and tell me i was stupid! I cant believe what i tolerate sometimes, well i didn't really but i wasn't lowering my self to that level! I am pi**ed off we are skint this month, work got my return to work wage wrong and my bonus, so they showed it as been paid this financial year (starts April in UK) so i have been taxed more than a actual months wage, I've gone in to super tax bracket! So i have nearly half the money i am used to having to live off! It will catch up over the year but that doesn't help now! I am struggling to say anything positive today - sorry!

A brave move by Mummy. Maybe a couple!

After realising a few days ago when going through my diary with my Mum, shes away when its Tosh's cousins wedding in July and Billy is not invited (my choice really he'd not be bothered if he went and i could have a drink. Plus there aren't really any kids going) so panic kicked in! Who could have him?? I asked my step sister and she'd got plans, Grandma H will be at the wedding, so who else would i want to leave my precious boy with?? Well the only other person was my father and my step Mum, but the problem been there is that he's not seen them much of recent and the last few times we've been hes clung to me nearly all the time we have been there. Well i asked anyway and of course the answer was yes, so i now have to visit more. Don't mind at all but its just remembering as i very rarely get a minute........ The thing is when we do visit he makes me look like a super protective Mum he pulls on my trouser legs to be picked up, wont let me pass him to them and always crawls back to me, i don't think I've done anything to make him like that, he just doesn't like strangers!

I've decided its time to start looking for a new job so I've put my CV together today and got my by bro to have a look at it (good start really as he owns his own recruitment agency, not in my area tho), not in any rush as if i leave before July i have to pay back my return to work bonus. But its time to stop moaning and make the change!

Bought a new beaker today, i know what i wanted and like everything when i decide I'm doing it, i have to that day. Had to go to three different shops to get the one i had in my head, might i add it needed to be blue(no wonder i never get a minute). From tomorrow morning he will be drinking his mornings milk for this Tommee Tippee Super sipper free flow and I'll continue to let him have milk at night from a bottle. And the beaker will NOT be sterilised!

The picture at the top is at Nanny P's ( my step Mum's) and his smaller version of his new beaker is behind him - I know i know i could have just used that but i wanted a big one for milk. Call me odd, strange whatever i don't care!

Oh and he weighed 18lb 9oz today!

The Managers Conference

The party night at the conference, the fancy dress theme was Galactic glam! Why galactic glam, I'll never know. Wasn't easy outfit to plan either, i did hire a Abba outfit, that i didn't wear as one of the other managers who i despise had hired the same. Very good job i am so anal in my planning and i had a choice of 3 to wear. For those of you who don't know me, i have to plan everything to the word and in plenty of time, think I'm possibly a bit obsessive compulsive (mild tho)

Very eventful night, was told by Alex my boss, the one that I've been complaining about that he's stepped down (bet he's been demoted more like) anyway my hope and dreams have come true but I'm now back in limbo not knowing who could be my boss....... Do you notice I'm never happy, can never win!

A whole new adventure!

The stairs.... yes the stairs, didn't think he'd manage them until we caught him on the third one up!

Mummy's been and hired fancy dress for works conference next week, will post you some pictures of me looking a complete idiot! ( i already look a prat, I've had a fake tan disaster - orange palms, hands, ankles......)

Daddy has had two hours to make the gate for the decking today and managed to realise that he cant! So Uncle C has another job I suspect!

No work for 2 days and i cant wait. Today was meant to be a 8am-1pm shift and i finally arrived home at 6pm! So much for my regional manager, today i bailed him out for some very sticky spots staffing wise and i was so nice to him i made my self feel sick. I've decided I'm gonna rise above it all. I do know he's given bo**ockings out today about gossiping about my boss's job!

Billy has had a mixed few days with both Granny's, hes so busy now i don't think he'd care really who he was with, so longs as he can crawl up to things touch things, then turn and look as though to say "have you seen me??" He's also started to cry when told no, kind of cute but i we have to try not to laugh!

I'm gonna take him to b weighed tomorrow as he seems to have turned into a right little chunk and suddenly very strong too. As i found out earlier when playing with him and he pushed his foot at my neck! Oh and I'm going to join weight watchers in the morning, I've done it before so i can loose weight again. The funny thing is i can actually do the points thing but I'm so greedy i am always gonna start from tomorrow or Monday, i think i need the weekly weigh in motivation!

Work again!

I'll make it short or at least I'll try!

I am really unhappy at work, my new boss is terrible previous post. I have been hearing rumours about him getting the bullet, so while he's on holidays this week I've asked my regional manager about it. In normal regional manager style he's not giving much away, apart from things will be changing. So i then asked if Cheryl a manager that i know is in the running for his job, he replied no, so i said well she thinks its a done deal and the job is hers. Turns out he's been asking people who he thought would be interested, if they really are?! But before i even got chance to tell him I'm not interested he told me i wouldn't be considered as i am not experienced enough and don't work enough hours.... very nice of him. I do have the experience but its not current as it seems I'm been punished for having a baby and taking 10months maternity leave, the funny thing is i didn't actually want the job until I've been told i cant have it! Back in the real world once home and talking to my husband, i don't really want it but i am rather upset, that my years of hard work don't earn me any respect! And even worse one of the people asked if they are interested in my Boss's job is my previous deputy manager Sarah, who i trained. I am trying to be the bigger person and accepting that my life has changed and that i don't want the job but its hard as its what I've always aspired too! Don't get me wrong i am proud that Sarah is considered capable of doing the job and that i trained her up for it but also at the same time i feel hugely insulted. As my husband says tho better the devil you know.......

I've got to remember my baby wont be little for long and that its my choice to work part time, i know one day I'll have my career back! And I'd rather have my beautiful boy than work!

A picture (MMS) message from Daddy!

The actually message said - Its lovely out here Mummy x x

This message i received while working today, i was dealing a stinking, smelly customer who was complaining the is £25 excess in their insurance! Some customers don't live in the real world!

His first easter egg!

Mummy will enjoy it! We all know I'm a pig with my food. On the subject of my food. I dared to get my pre-pregnancy clothes out of the loft. Well needless to say i was very upset, i am by no means huge but bigger than before. I know it comes to us all, i really did think I'd be one of the lucky ones and just stepped back into my clothes. At this rate i don't think I'll ever loose weight! I have now decided that I'm going to starve! Joking! I am now going to get my arse in to gear and diet properly and stop eating so much shit! I hate to say it but i think i might actually join weight watchers!

I am not buying a new set of clothes for the summer!

Work is S**t!

My new boss is a complete tosser! He's the type that's done everything, knows everything and tells lies! He's either the most unlucky guy in the world or he cant help lying! He's only been with the company since December!

A few examples for you, he's always late. 1, the police stopped him and breathalysed him - they were doing random spot checks. 2, his gate blew off during night had to fix it before work. 3, his Mum locked her keys out of car , so he had to take the spares 20miles to her. 4, his garage was burgled so had to wait for police. 4, his car had a flat. 5, there was fight on his street and the cordoned it off and questioned everyone before they could leave.

A few examples of his sickness/time off excuses. 1, fell down stairs and hurt ankle (broke on the first call in) limped for few days and had x-ray. 2, Grandma ill. 3, girlfriend dog hurt his arm jumping on him. 4, food poisoning - that old chestnut. 5, Chest infection and cough, apparently coughing up blood ended up with chest x-ray.

If you give him a suggestion, he nods agrees and then sells it off as his idea! Hes a wanker in fact! I've said it before when i left for maternity we were 2nd in the company for sales now we are 26th - yes 26th!!!!!!! I've run the place before i got pregnant when my previous boss was on secondment and maintained 2nd!! Tosser!

The only thing that keeps me going is that the job would have been mine if i hadn't have been on maternity when the vacancy came up, i did get a call asking me to apply but as i didn't want to return to a full time job and i didn't want to return early, i bite the bullet and said i wasn't interested!

Its tough at mo as i feel I'm training him to do a job that hes seeming incapable of and doesn't have the knowledge to do and his people management skill are non existent! I could honestly do that job even on my 30hours per week but the company would never accept that or they'd have then set a standard and other people would want shorter hours!

Yesterday i ended up doing his dirty work and sacking a temp, luck she was a temp or we'd have been stuck with her, but he seems incapable of sorting anything. He plans plenty but never does anything, that poor diary of his with all the lists!

On the plus side tho, I've just worked a 5day run and I'm now off for a week, been part time has it good points!

Sorry i needed a rant - think my husband is fed up of hearing all about it, although he now asks things like whats he done to day then, think he finds it funny!